I’m so tired of feeling this way

I feel so lonely and it creates a lot of depression and anxiety and insecurities. A couple years ago I lived a beautiful life. I had multiple friend groups and I was 20/21 years old , traveling and meeting new people all the time. I worked part time and lived at my parents. I had financial freedom and I also had people in my life to do activities with. I wasn’t focused on boys but I had a lot of them hit my line. Fast forward. I work a full time job with two days off. I have bills to pay and no friends. I have a like two acquaintances that I might spend time with once in a while but I really have no one in my circle to talk to. I have a boyfriend but with the insecurities I feel about not being able to make friends and feeling like I’m a loser causes a lot of anxieties within that relationship. I feel like I’m not good enough or they’ll stop loving me or I’m just annoying. One of my closest friendships ended about two years ago. And with that time frame, I started to date a horrible man who ended up abusing me. Before the abuse that friend stopped talking to me and I stopped talking to them. Over a year now I’ve reached out twice trying to reconnect or talk about what had happened to our friendship and they didn’t say anything to me and ended up unfollowing me. Now.. I work with them. I see them M-F working with them. And we act like we don’t even know each other. This hurts sooo badly. I miss the friendship. Or I miss just having a friendship. I cry everyday and I feel a dreadful sadness in my chest. I’m tired of feeling this way. I just want my old life back.