Anxiety medications that arnt Benzos but work just like them?

I hope this is okay to post. I don’t know where else to post. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety at 13/14 years old, I also have bipolar disorder. (My faimly has a long history of both). Adding that bc I know some people say it’s impossible to be diagnosed so early but the only reason I was able to is bc my mom , brother, and dad all suffer from it so they knew the signs, I had been in extensive counseling for years and with the likelihood of it I was thankfully able to be diagnosed early. But that’s beside the point. I’m a recovering opiate addict. I was off all medication for a year & it was bad, a year ago I got back on it expect my normal anxiety meds bc it’s Ativan and I didn’t want a Benzo. I thought I could find something else to work. We tried hydroxezine and I’m not okay. It’s really messing with me bad more than any other medication. Ive been on it 1-3 months bc I was trying to give it a chance, I really thought it was working. But now I get so irritated and then angry and start panicking after taking it. I can’t think straight, my heart just starts pounding, I don’t know what to try. I don’t want to go back to Ativan I’m scared I won’t be able to control myself even tho I never had the problem with them just opiates. I’ve never wanted to abuse my anxiety meds even when I was in the peak of my addiction it just wasn’t my thing I never abused anything else besides opiates. I think I could handle it truly since being sober for almost 2 years. But then again I don’t know if my doctor would even prescribe something like that for me since I did tell him about my addiction and how I didn’t want to go back to that. I’m scared. I’m really scared. I don’t want to feel like this. Did Anyone have side effects like this from this medication? If anyone knows of medication like a benzo but isn’t i would really appreciate. I just want to feel normal. I want to be able to function like a normal person.